If you have ever been in a long term relationship with someone and then broken up, then this post should hopefully resonate with you. When Helen and I eventually split up for good, we managed to be quite mature about most things. There was no squabbling over the CD collection (even though she somehow ended up keeping hold of some CDs of mine) and very little over finances. Friends, however, were a different matter.
I suppose it is inevitable that some of our friends felt that they had to side with one of us or the other, which was odd because, at least so far as I was concerned, there was no need to do so. I don’t want to know what Helen is up to now, but who am I to tell anyone who they can and cannot be friends with?
For some, though, this was clearly a big issue and there were several people who I thought were good friends of mine who I have not heard from since we split. It isn’t anything that I have ever lost any sleep over, but it is something slightly strange.
What it does make me grateful for, though, is the friendships that endured through that time, the people that knew both of us and who decided that they could cope with still knowing both of us. Although all of my friends are dear to me, those people will always be especially so, because they are clearly the ones who liked me for who I am and not simply for who I was married to at the time.